An Underlying Sense of Blah...

I am currently struggling with an underlying sense of blah-zi-blah...some days it boarders on despair, other days it feels like a little heart burn, still other days it spills out as a day of over or under eating, over-producing or under-producing...

I've noticed that all of these different "expressions" of the blah still seem to be the same blah.

It's uncomfortable, really.

I feel like I want to stuff it down and RUN AWAY.

It's like I'm constantly looking forward...waaaaay forward to see what will get me out of the discomfort.

Last night the theme my yoga teacher chose for class was courage & patience. We worked on the courage to root down and raise our hearts into deeper and deeper backbends.

We worked on the patience to allow our hearts time to open. Allowing time for the juiciness to flow into the little cracks created.

I'll admit... I was antsy.

I didn't have TIME for patience, but there was no where else to go in that 90 min class - so I stuck it out and asked myself, "as a little experimnent, how about trying to be WILLING to be patient?"

Oi....

And here I sit this morning - the blah is still be there, but that juice... that grace also seems to have creeped in.

What I want for us, what I want for myself is that willingness.
What I want for us is that unfolding.


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currently meditating on...
Practice and all is coming...Sri K. Pattabhi Jois (1915-2009)
If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer. Matthew 21:22 (NIV)